Self-Determination Theory: Why Motivation Is More Than Just “Try Harder”

Ever wonder why some days you’re a productivity machine and other days you can barely convince yourself to fold your laundry?

According to Self-Determination Theory, it’s not just about willpower. More importantly, it’s about whether your core psychological needs are being met.

In other words, your motivation isn’t just a gas tank you fill up; it’s more like a house plant. Give it sunlight, water, and a little TLC, and it thrives. Neglect it, and it wilts.

Meet the Theory (and Its Creators)

Self-Determination Theory (SDT) was cooked up in the 1980s by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan, two researchers who were basically asking: Why do some people feel like unstoppable forces of motivation while others can’t even bring themselves to fold their socks?

At the time, psychology was still very reward-and-punishment heavy. The reigning idea was: dangle a carrot, threaten a stick, and people will do what you want.

Deci and Ryan weren’t so convinced. They noticed that sometimes rewards actually killed motivation. For example, if you love drawing and then someone starts paying you for every doodle, suddenly it feels like a job. The fun is gone.

So they flipped the script: instead of asking how do we control people’s behavior, they asked what makes people want to do things on their own?

Their answer became SDT, a theory that says true motivation comes from within, and it flourishes when three basic psychological needs are met.

The Big Idea

Here’s the elevator pitch: humans aren’t lazy by default.

We’re wired to grow, learn, and explore. On some level, even as adults, we’re kind of like giant toddlers who insist on pushing every button in sight.

But this natural motivation can wither up if our environment blocks our core needs.

Those needs are autonomy, competence, and relatedness. When they’re satisfied, we feel energized and motivated. When they’re not, we feel like wilted houseplants.

Think of it like this: you’re a video game character with three energy bars.

• Autonomy is your “free will” bar. Do you feel in charge of your own choices?
• Competence is your “skills” bar. Do you feel capable of slaying the dragon (or at least your inbox)?
• Relatedness is your “squad” bar. Do you feel connected to your party members?

If all three of these bars are full, you’re thriving and feeling totally unstoppable. But if they’re empty, you’re making mistakes, yelling, and throwing your headset against the wall.

The Three Core Needs

Deci and Ryan argued that these three needs are universal.

It doesn’t matter if you’re a college student in New York City, a farmer in rural India, or a panda in a motivational Dreamworks movie; when these needs are met, you flourish. When they’re not, you struggle.

Let’s break them down, tomato-style.

Autonomy

Autonomy is the need to feel like you’re steering your own ship. It doesn’t mean being a lone wolf who never listens to anyone. It means having a sense of choice, agency, and ownership over what you do.

When you choose to learn guitar because you want to, that’s autonomy. When your mom signs you up for lessons and nags you to practice, that’s autonomy being strangled.

Autonomy is why people love hobbies but hate micromanaging bosses. It’s why kids will happily spend hours building a Lego castle but groan when forced to clean their room.

The activity itself isn’t the issue. What matters is whether they feel like they chose it.

Competence

Competence is the need to feel effective, skilled, and capable.

Humans love getting better at stuff. It’s why we keep leveling up in video games, why we bake bread during pandemics, and why we secretly (or, you know, not-so-secretly) enjoy it when Wordle tells us we solved the puzzle in three tries.

When you feel like your effort leads to progress, your competence need is satisfied. When you feel stuck, useless, or like you’re failing no matter what, your motivation tanks.

This is exactly why good teachers and coaches are so powerful.

A good one knows how to set challenges that are tough but achievable. Too easy and you’re bored; too hard and you’re frustrated. Just right, and you’re in the zone.

Relatedness

Relatedness is the need to feel connected, cared for, and part of something bigger. We’re social creatures, even if some of us prefer cats to people.

When you feel like you belong, whether it’s with family, friends, coworkers, or your Dungeons & Dragons group, your relatedness bar fills up. When you feel isolated, ignored, or disconnected, it drains.

This is a common reason why people sometimes stay in jobs they don’t love: the work might be meh, but the coworkers make it worth it.

It’s also why online communities can be so motivating. Yeah, you’re just swapping sourdough recipes with strangers, but you feel like you’re part of something.

Breaking It Down: Types of Motivation

Okay, so now we’ve got our three core needs (autonomy, competence, relatedness). But how do these play out in real life?

Deci and Ryan argued that motivation isn’t a simple on/off switch. It’s more like a spectrum that runs from “I literally don’t care” to “I’m doing this because it’s who I am.”

Let’s walk through the six main stops on the spectrum.

Amotivation

This is that “why bother?” stage.

You have zero drive, zero energy, and zero interest. It’s not even procrastination. It’s just… nothing.

Imagine staring at your laundry pile and feeling absolutely no reason to move. That’s amotivation.

People in this state often feel helpless or burned out. They don’t see the point in trying because they don’t believe their actions will make a difference.

It’s like your motivational engine has stalled, and now you’re just coasting on fumes.

External Regulation

This is classic motivation by carrot and stick. Here, you do something to get a reward or avoid punishment.

This could look like “I’m only studying so I don’t fail,” or it might be “I’m only going to the gym because my doctor told me to.”

And, yeah, it works in the short term, but it’s fragile. The second the reward disappears (or the punishment isn’t scary anymore), the motivation evaporates.

It’s why kids clean their rooms when candy is on the line, but the room magically reverts to chaos once the bribe stops.

Introjected Regulation

This is when the pressure moves inside your head.

Here, you’re not being forced by someone else. Instead, you’re forcing yourself with guilt, shame, or those pesky “shoulds.”

Keeping with our same examples, here they might look like “I should go to the gym or I’ll feel lazy” or perhaps “I should study or I’ll feel like a failure.”

It’s like having a tiny drill sergeant living in your brain, yelling at you to do things so you don’t feel bad about yourself.

Much like external regulation, it can work for a while, but it’s stressful and exhausting.

Identified Regulation

Okay, so those first few kind of bummers, right? But here’s where things start to get healthier.

Identified regulation means you recognize the value of an activity, even if you don’t love it.

You’re in a difficult psychology class, but you say, “I don’t enjoy studying, but I know it’ll help me reach my career goals.” You want to lose weight, so you say, “I don’t love jogging, but I know it’s good for my health.”

At this stop on our tour, you’re not doing the thing for fun, but you’ve bought into the bigger picture. Because you’ve done that, this is the stage where motivation starts to feel more sustainable.

Integrated Regulation

Feeling good? Let’s take it a step further now!

Integrated Regulation is when the activity lines up with your identity and values. You’re not just doing it because it’s useful at this point; now you’re doing it because it feels like part of who you are.

You walk into the gym and think to yourself, “I work out because being healthy is part of who I am,” or you spend a Saturday picking up trash on the side of the road and say to yourself, “I volunteer because giving back is central to my values.”

Integrated regulation is powerful because it blends external goals with your sense of self. It’s not quite pure enjoyment, but it’s deeply meaningful.

Intrinsic Motivation

Finally, this is the holy grail: doing something purely because you enjoy it.

I’m talking no rewards, no guilt, no identity alignment… This is just pure joy from deep within yourself.

“I play guitar because it’s fun”, you say, even though you’re still building up those calluses on your fingers so the strings still kind of hurt. Or maybe it’s more like “I mess around with coding projects because I love solving puzzles and seeing things come to life.”

Intrinsic motivation is the most sustainable and fulfilling type. It’s why hobbies can energize us even when work drains us.

But, and I know this is tough advice, don’t go quitting your job to “follow your passion” just yet.

It’s also why Deci and Ryan warned that adding external rewards to intrinsically motivated activities can backfire. Suddenly, your fun thing feels like a chore.

Musicians, particularly, talk about this all the time, especially once they’ve “made it”.

Storytime: A Day in the Life

To help bring this theory to life, let’s meet Taylor, who’s trying to learn Spanish.

If Taylor is amotivation, he doesn’t even open Duolingo. He sees and clears the app’s notifications multiple times a day, but just can’t be bothered.

If he’s motivated by external regulation, he’s studying because his boss said he has to. Or maybe it’s a step further, and with introjected regulation, he’s guilt-tripping himself into it (“If I don’t study, I’m lazy”).

Now let’s go further.

With identified regulation, Taylor sees the value (“This will help me travel more easily, so I need to keep practicing”). Further still, with integrated regulation, it’s part of his identity (“I’m a global citizen, and speaking Spanish fits that”).

Finally, with intrinsic motivation, he’s learning because he genuinely loves the language.

See? It’s the same activity but with six very different flavors of motivation.

Why It Matters

Self-Determination Theory matters because it changes how we think about motivation. While it might sound a little simple on the surface, this is actually a massively important idea in the real world around us.

Instead of assuming people are lazy or unmotivated, SDT asks: “are their basic needs being met?”

If not, no amount of pep talks or punishments will fix the problem.

In education, this means students thrive when they feel choice (autonomy), when they’re challenged at the right level (competence), and when they feel connected to teachers and classmates (relatedness).

In the workplace, it means employees are more engaged when they have some freedom, opportunities to grow, and an overall sense of belonging.

But even on a personal level outside of work and school, SDT helps us understand why some of our goals stick and others just kind of fizzle.

If you’re only motivated by guilt or external rewards, you’ll probably burn out. But if you connect your goals to your values and identity, you’re WAY more likely to keep going.

In other words, SDT is about building a life that feels meaningful, not just motivation.

Spotting This Theory in Your Own Life

Before we go further, take a moment to think about something you’ve been trying to do lately. Maybe it’s exercising more often, studying that language, or saving money.

What’s driving you? Like, looking deep down and being 100% honest with yourself, what’s really driving you?

Is it guilt, pressure, rewards, or genuine enjoyment? And are your needs for autonomy, competence, and relatedness being met in the process?

Reflecting on this can help you tweak your approach.

Maybe you need more choice, more support, or a way to connect your goal to your values. This is that all-important first step!

Misconceptions

Though we should also clear up a couple of misconceptions about Self-Determination Theory at this point.

Some might misinterpret SDT as saying that extrinsic motivation is always bad, which is not true. Sometimes external rewards are useful, especially as a starting point.

The key is whether you can internalize that motivation over time.

But there are also limits to this.

Joe can love his job, the company’s mission, and all the people that he works with to the moon and back, but when that external reward (his paycheck) stops coming in, Joe is way less likely to go into work until that’s fixed!

Which brings us to the next misconception…

Note that autonomy doesn’t necessarily mean total independence.

In SDT, autonomy just means feeling like you have a choice, even within relationships or structures. You can be deeply connected to others and still feel autonomous.

Critiques and Limitations

Critics argue that SDT can be tricky to measure, and that’s a fair point.

Even though we used the metaphor of video game “stat bars” earlier in this article, it’s more of a “vibes” situation than an empirical one. I mean, how can you possibly quantify “autonomy” or “relatedness” in a way that’s consistent across cultures?

Others point out that cultural values may shape how these needs are experienced. For example, autonomy might look different in a collectivist society like Japan as compared to an individualist one like the United States.

Still, SDT has held up well in research and has been applied absolutely everywhere from classrooms to workplaces to healthcare. Its key strength is in reminding us that motivation isn’t just about pushing harder, but about creating the right conditions for people to thrive.

The Psych Tomato Takeaway

Self-Determination Theory says motivation isn’t just about trying harder, but about whether your psychological needs are being met.

When you feel autonomous, competent, and connected, motivation flows. When those needs are blocked, even the best pep talk won’t help.

So if you’re struggling to stay motivated, maybe the problem isn’t you. Maybe it’s your environment.

Which brings us to this article’s Tomato Takeaway…

Which of the three needs (autonomy, competence, or relatedness) do you think matters most for your own personal motivation? And which one do you notice is missing when you’re stuck?

Share your thoughts in the comments below and let’s chat!